Sadness and fury
by Maya Sunshine
Summary: One-shot: Sirius finds the Potter family on the 31st of October, 1981. K plus. Please R&R!


The cold night air pulled fiercely at Sirius' hair as he raced on his enchanted motorbike towards Godric's Hollow. Chewing his lip, he stared into the night, focusing his entire will on not letting his tears fall. _It can't be true; it can't possibly be true…_ Shaking his head, he tried to clear his mind and sped up. Never before had he gone that fast: the lights from the cars below him disappeared almost as fast as they'd appeared while he made his way across the sky. Not soon enough, he recognised his best friend's house, small flames still licking the walls, blackening what was left of the roof.

After the long flight, he finally lowered the bike to the ground, and as soon as it touched the grass outside the house he jumped off it and ran to where the front door had been. The once so beautiful house was half destroyed: the door had been ripped off its hinges and was lying in a dead rose bush, the windows lay shattered across the lawn. The young man felt his eyes stinging, and he did not hold back his sign of grief this time. He didn't know if he dared enter the house, but knew he'd regret never seeing them again. He remembered so well the last time he had seen the family…

"_Harry!" James called up the stairs. "Uncle Sirius is here." Sirius grinned at his friend, taking his coat off. Running feet sounded from the top floor, and Lily came __down after her one year old son, who had recently learned to walk and say a few words._

_"Hey, Harry!" Sirius cheered, and caught the small boy in his arms, lifting him up._

_He chuckled and put the boy down again. Harry giggled and wobbled into the kitchen, after his mother. James gave his old friend a fleeting hug._

_"Nice to see you, mate."_

"_Same. How's the kid doing then?" James smiled that happy- and-proud-father-smile._

"_Great! I didn't realise they learned to speak and walk so quickly." Sirius laughed._

_"I can imagine." They walked into the kitchen where Lily was just giving Harry a bottle of juice._

"_Now please don't spill it." She said with a meaningful look. Harry blushed and drank some of it. Noticing his father and godfather he smiled and laughed, and, naturally, the juice dripped all over his shirt._

"_Harry!" Lily sighed, shaking her head, but with a small smile on her lips. Sirius laughed and winked at Harry, while James tried to not smile._

_The boy murmured something, probably not even real words. This made them all smile, and so Harry blushed once again._

"_You're a nice kid." Sirius said, ruffling the little hair he had. The boy smiled and once again hugged Sirius._

Sirius noticed his face was soaking wet with tears as he remembered this, wondering what had happened to his dear godson. Taking a deep breath he walked into the house. It didn't look too bad on the inside, just dirty and… lifeless. He looked through the bottom floor, finding nothing. Again, he walked into the hall, looking up the stairs. The steps looked safe enough, but he found himself wondering what he would find. Placing a hand on the wooden banister, he started walking up the stairs. As soon as he could see the hallway at the top he stopped dead in his tracks. For a moment he thought he'd fall right back down.

On the landing, lying in an awkward position on the before soft carpet, was the body of his best mate, his lifelong friend. All thoughts that had been circulating in his head vanished as his eyes met this sight. James' hair was just as messy as it had always been when he was alive, and Sirius realised he was wearing the quite horrible shirt he'd bought him as a joke. His face was turned away, for which Sirius was glad. He stood for numerous minutes, looking at the body. Was this supposed to be James? This dead corpse was what remained of James Potter, Marauder, friend, husband, father and wizard. Swallowing hard, he lifted his right foot and took another step, and then another, bringing himself closer to the body.

After taking the remaining steps, he was at the top, and his feet less than a metre from… him. Sirius walked around the dead man, and then looked at his face. This proved to not be the smartest if moves. James' glasses were cracked and broken, and had half fallen off his nose. His mouth was slightly open, a thin line of blood trailing from the left corner of it. The worst part of the vision was his open eyes. Dim and not seeing, his hazel eyes were facing the wall. Sirius looked long and well at these eyes that he had so many times seen turn into thin lines as the man smiled or laughed, or gone big as saucers in surprise. Sirius dropped to his knees beside the broken, dead face. Slowly embracing the dead man, cradling him to his chest, Sirius began sobbing. Not for years had he cried like he did that night. His tears soaked his shirt and his friend's.

"What the hell, James?" he sobbed into the neck of the corpse. The cold skin repulsed him slightly, but he didn't pull back. He hugged him tighter, refusing to believe what had happened, even though he held the proof in his arms. After crying into his clothes for almost ten minutes he pulled himself together, and placed James in a more comfortable position. He took a couple of deep breaths, sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. _He's alright_… When he'd calmed himself down, he took the glasses of, placed two fingers lightly on James' eyelids and shut his eyes, then putting the glasses back on.

"That's better…" he murmured. As he did his, he remembered Lily. And Harry. This made his pain twice as difficult to handle. Following the hallway he entered the Potter's bedroom. In front of the cot was Lily, her beautiful red hair spread around her pale white face, her green, almond shaped eyes wide open. It was like someone poured salt into fresh wounds. He cringed at the sight. Her wand was laying a few paces away. Walking steadily over to it, he picked it up and then placed it in Lily's nimble hand. Leaning forward he kissed her forehead and then closed her eyes, brushing the hair out of her face. As he did this, he heard a movement from the cot. He immediately stood up, swiftly poising his wand as he did so. Cautiously he closed in on the cot. Peering over the edge, he saw some black hair and green eyes. Gasping he stared at his godson, who looked puzzled.

"Harry." Sirius sighed, dropping his wand. He reached into the cot and picked up the little boy, holding him close, inhaling his scent. "Merlin, you're alive." Sirius cried, but tears of relief. Sitting down on the wide bed, he hugged Harry hard and rocked back and forth. The baby was soon asleep, and so Sirius placed him in the cot again. He looked around. On the floor was the very young Mrs Potter, and outside the door was her husband. He didn't even think about how Harry could be alive, he had only eyes and thoughts for the dead couple. He hadn't noticed the baby's forehead. Not noticed the mark that would bring the boy so much trouble. Sirius Black could shed no more tears. The sadness was put back in a box, being replaced by fury. Fury was easier to deal with. Balling his hands he walked out of the room, and was for ever a different man.

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_Ooooh, did I fail big time? I'm sorry, it's late, but I HAD to upload this now! Please R&R!_

_Maya xx._


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